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  • Writer's pictureMJ Allen, MS, C.MI

Healing Through Brokenness

Updated: Jan 9, 2022

Every year I see the same posts….the annual reflection on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. I am no different and had so many things have come up during my own reflection….I didn’t take that trip I’d planned….I haven’t lost that weight,…my vision board has about 6” of dust on it….I could go on and on, BUT the real reflection we should be doing and asking is “what have I done and what have I learned?”

As I have reflected during the shift from one year to the next, I have definitely considered these questions. In the book Isaiah’s Story, Jennifer Ross writes “Sharing your brokenness helps others heal in their own brokenness.” So, I have decided to pull back the curtain and share my brokenness with you.

Grief, sadness and change….that is what I experienced during 2021. I do not think I am alone by any stretch of the imagination. Many of us are experiencing Covid exhaustion, but there’s more to it than that. We have not had as many external places to direct our attention so the traumas, the anxiety, the depression we live with has become amplified as well. Our communities and connections have become limited or strained or non-existent….we work from home, we don’t go to the bar or the gym after work….we even talk via text more and more vs. hearing the voice of our friend, family & loved ones.

“Sharing your brokenness helps others heal in their own brokenness” resonated immediately and deeply with me. In this holistic wellness world that I happily embrace, I have managed to leave my own brokenness at the door in order to show you the “face of the business”. The unfaltering leader who made lemonade out of the lemons

that were served with Covid-19 and resulted in closing for 6 months and moving locations. The face of the encouraging owner who wants for every practitioner and every client to live their best life. And, ultimately the Coach and Instructor that embraces mindfulness and meditation as daily practices in order to live her own best life—but has done neither for nearly a year.

The motto at Presence of Mind Wellness Center for 2022 is Authenticity. That face is simply not authentic.

I have decided to employ Jennifer Ross’ words and share my brokenness in order to heal from within and also help you heal in your brokenness. These past 2 years have been very difficult and I have struggled with anxiety, depression and almost completely locked myself away in my home….to the point that a recent Covid quarantine brought relief….no more making excuses for not seeing and interacting with people!

The reality is that when the Covid-19 shut down started on March 13, 2020, my own husband underwent open-heart surgery with a quadruple by-pass and I heard the words “we have bought him time; months not years. I’d say 18-24 months is what you can expect for his life”.

Fast-forward to June 25, 2021 and the birth of my granddaughter, Vivienne. What a joyous occasion….until the call came that informed me that she was being transferred an hour away to the NICU. 14 days later, sweet, baby Vivienne underwent a craniotomy to remove a brain tumor that she had been born with. Days later we learned it was cancerous. Words like chemotherapy, immunotherapy, possibly left-sided paralysis, and less than 30% survivability rate are all things you never expect, nor want to hear about a 14-day-old newborn!

Fast forward again to Halloween 2021 and 30 hours of a very sick husband. Learning that the liver has decided to start shutting down to go along with the aortic valve that is badly calcified all that is complicated by kidney failure and dialysis and a platelet disorder that prevents any further surgeries. We came home with hospice…knowing that time is growing close. How do you say good-bye to your partner in life after 30 years.

I don’t tell you any of this for sympathy or empathy, but as a means to say….LIFE HAPPENS…to all of us! Sometimes we get stuck in our own grief, sadness, loss, and misery.

So, MJ….What does all this mean? It means that 2022 I am interested in growing a robust, diverse and safe community folks that are interested in holistic wellness, spiritual and personal growth, and showing up authentically.

What you can expect from me is that I will be sharing my experiences with grief, sadness, embracing a new and different life, envisioning, setting and working towards my goals, taking care of me and defining what self-care looks like for me personally. I will also be leading Presence of Mind Wellness Center with an authentic, growth mindset. Yes, this is a business and there is an energetic/monetary exchange, however, this business was born out of a deep-seated belief in the power of community, looking at one as a whole vs. pieces and parts, and life-long learning. You can continue to count on my commitment to that with a very open and transparent view of me personally.

One of the exciting developments for 2022 is what we are calling Transformation Tuesdays! In all authenticity we are still flushing out some technical details…but, on Tuesday’s from 6:30-8 pm we will be doing mini-workshops on topics that are relevant to where we are and what we are having for upcoming workshops or events. January and February these will be held on Zoom or live on Facebook. If you want the ability to ask question and interact with us live, or you are a non-Facebook user, you will need to sign up through our website (we will be sending out links along with the roll out of our newly designed website).

There are many more developments in process…elevated energy healing practices, workshops, retreats, memberships, renewed passion for coaching services…in-house and on-line meditations, enhanced body work services with the addition of Infrared Sauna, an outside, covered space for yoga, meditations, classes and special events like Journey Dance…..and in the midst of all of this, MJ has dove into a hypnotherapy certification and will be offering hypnotherapy services and groups later this spring. The future is bright and full of light….now for us to join together and come through the dark!! Love and light, my friends!

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